How to Be Alone in a Crowded House: Claim Your Inner Space in a Confined Place

During the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, many of us have been pushed into new environments — forced to live, work, eat, and sleep all in the same space, 24/7. Whether you live in a small city apartment or a large countryside home, it is normal to feel confined when you are at home for a long time. But when going outside isn’t always an option, it is important to find space inside yourself and begin consciously uncoupling to get the self-care and inner nourishment you need.

Create a Sacred Space

Creating a sacred space in your home is a physical manifestation of finding inner space. Perhaps this is easier said than done if you have a 3000 square foot Brooklyn brownstone than a 300square foot Hell’s Kitchen studio that you share with your partner. But don’t fall victim to space neediness. If you don’t have an entire room, believe it or not, a small corner is enough to accomplish this goal.

To create your sacred space, choose a quieter room in your home, decorate it with comfy pillows and spiritual objects, and ask that others in your home respect your time in this space. This small space can be a haven from the chaos and is a great place to practice meditation, read a book, or be.

Find Space with Time

If finding physical space isn’t an option, the other alternative is to find freedom by finding the right time of day for you. If your kids, roommates, or partners sleep late, try waking up earlier in the morning, or vice versa. The silence in the early hours or late nights might be precisely what you’re looking for. Working in your me-time into your day and consciously uncoupling from others can be as simple as just switching around your schedule. Be mindful that “me-time” turns into disconnection. For many women during the pandemic, their self-care routines began to resemble escape mechanisms in the form of food or substance indulgence (abuse).

Go Inwards

Finding space outside isn’t always possible in life, but we still have an endless reservoir of space and calmness within our mind, heart, and soul. Going inwards through mindfulness practices and meditation can help you step into inner silence and fill your bucket one drop at a time. Meditation is a way to recharge your body, mind, and soul, giving you the tools to handle whatever chaos comes your way.

Take a Breath

We breathe every day, but how often do you tune into your breath? Breathing is the ultimate space creator; it physically opens your chest, revitalizes your cells, and clears your mind. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, try to practice this simple mindfulness technique called S.T.O.P. and begin the mindful process of consciously uncoupling. This method has four simple steps: Stop what you are doing, Take a breath, Observe your surroundings, and then Proceed with mindful and thoughtful action.

Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up.

No one will give us what we need unless we ask for it. The people around us do not mind readers, and quashing your thoughts and desires will likely lead to resentment. So, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask your partners, kids, or roommates for some personal time. Having the courage to speak about your needs is the first step to getting them met and beginning the process of consciously uncoupling.

We all need alone time sometimes, and it is not selfish to ask for it. If you don’t recharge your batteries, then how can you show up for others? So, take the steps that you need to for your self-care, and you will be able to live a happier, healthier, and more joyful life in the long run.

Lisa is the founder and editor of The Homesteadista as well as leadership coach with Tall Poppies + Co. She recently launched CitySchoolista.